hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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