Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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