and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize