if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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