well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
