Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it was like eating out sand paper
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I need to calm my uterus...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
