I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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