It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
