Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
