Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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