I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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