How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
