At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
