We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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