giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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