The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
