they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
