someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
