Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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