The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
