You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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