i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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