Me too!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
