Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
