I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
