READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
