Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
