ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
