thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize