So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
