You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
