So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
