it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
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I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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