Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
