Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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