you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
