Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
