Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize