I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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