I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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