So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize