You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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