Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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