Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize