Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
