I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
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Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
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If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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