Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
