we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm getting married
To pizza
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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