i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize