He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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