He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
