Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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