I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize