Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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