i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
