There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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