someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize